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  • Writer's pictureVikram Saggu

Single and Feeling All Alone for Valentine’s Day? 5 Things You Can Do

Updated: Feb 21, 2023


black silhouette of a man standing in front of a red heart and holding up his hand in a half heart.

Valentine's Day is fast approaching and love is in the air, at least, that’s what that’s what commercials want us to think. What’s unnoticed is that people start to question their own self worth, and become jealous of the people they see in relationships. In fact, Apparently, 1 in 10 adults feel lonely, insecure, depressed, or unwanted on Valentine's Day, and 40% of our population generally associate the holiday with negative emotions. So what do we do? February is already a low month due to cold weather and paying off Christmas bills. Here are ways to cope with the Valentines Blues: 



man enjoying a calming self-care/spa day

  1. Treat Yourself. 

Take a moment to visualize your perfect day. Does it involve sitting on a Starbucks table and reading a book, hitting the gym, or going to a Vancouver Spa? February 14th is a day that we celebrate ourselves. Already so many of us struggle with loving ourselves and focusing on self care, so why not use this day to do just that? Consider it like you are going on a date with yourself with no rules!


 

man sitting in window sill while talking on mobile cellphone


2. Call your best friend


Ok, maybe you find sitting in a coffee shop awkward, lets apply that but doing it with your best friend. Having a friend date makes it certain that you aren’t spending the day alone and keeps yourself from negative thoughts of loneliness. 


 

man dancing in urban setting

3. Embrace Being Single


I like this quote by Harvey Specter, "EVER LOVED SOMEONE SO MUCH, YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM? YEAH, WELL MAKE THAT SOMEONE YOURSELF AND DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT.” Consider how much stress Valentine's Day really gives to people who are dating. They have to find a perfect date idea, make sure reservations are available, and hope their partner likes it. Not only that, but women have to find the perfect dress or lingerie in hopes that it’s sexy enough for their partner. On the other hand, guys have to hope that their sexual moves are enough to satisfy their partner. And let’s not forget that erectile dysfunction that could happen in the worst times. To be blunt, this is really a stressful day for everyone.  


 

artistic photo with a woman featuring aqua green and fog; mindfulness

4. Cognitive Distortions


Cognitive distortions are internal mental filters or biases that increase our misery, fuel our anxiety, and make us feel bad about ourselves. For instance, one may start to think that if they are single, they are weird, not caught up to others, or “broken.” Cognitive Distortions are a great way to check the validity of the thoughts we have. For instance, lets take a look at the claim “I’m never going to find someone because I’m single on Valentines' ' For one thing, you have 364 other days to find a date. Are you unlovable? Well, check how many people love you and who you love who aren’t a partner. You will be surprised by the answer

 

sushi date

5. Well, have you tried?


Have you ever known someone who wants to save money, but you always see them spending money? Well, you may be in a similar boat. If you are stressed about being single, ask yourself if you have tried the resources that are available. Online Dating seems to be the norm, but you never know what could happen if you started a conversation with someone. You could also use Events and Adventures, Meetup Groups, or asking a friend if they know anyone single and looking. I know it’s anxiety provoking to try dating but believe me, they are just as nervous as you. 




1 Comment


Unknown member
Feb 16, 2023

What an insightful article! The section on cognitive distortions really resonated with me. I hope you keep writing, you have a way with words. 🤗

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